Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize