hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
