What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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