I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
