:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
