I hope mine doesn't look like that
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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