ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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