It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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