She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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