He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
