I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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