Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
