i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
