Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
