Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
