Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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