I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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