Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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