Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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