So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
