this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
