yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
