I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
