I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
