is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
