She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
