'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
