so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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