That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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