It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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