Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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