booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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