I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
