Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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