Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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