So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
