I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
