he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize