just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
