I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
