are you still at the devil's house?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
