i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
