you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
