Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Randomize
