so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
