I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
