i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
