one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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