whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
