I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
