Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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