he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how drunk are you?
Several
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
