Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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