im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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