Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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