Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize