SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
