I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
