one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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