U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
