we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
