I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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