Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
