I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
