Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
