You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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